The NFL of the future? Surely not, since--according to NFL fans--only baseball player use drugs.
Off the top of my head the only group I can think of that rivals sports fans for hypocrisy is horny fundamentalist preachers. The Internet is ablaze with self-proclaimed moralists renting their garments because of steroid use in the major league baseball. Most of that is in the past—and much of it came before some of the substances were banned—but that hasn’t prevented erstwhile protectors of the integrity of sports from shouting “A-Roid” at every possible moment, or suggesting that the records of “cheaters” be wiped from the record books.
Don’t get me started on the number of ways in which America’s war on drugs is a joke, but for sheer moxie I’m appalled at the number of Internet posters who righteously assert that they’re glad the baseball season is over because football is the true national pastime. I admit some bias on this—I can’t stand football and think it rivals only televised auto racing and golf on the just-shoot-me boredom scale. That said, if football is the national pastime now it’s a walking advertisement for a “Just Say Yes to Drugs” campaign. There’s way more use of performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs) in pro football than in major league baseball. Let’s get real. Do we really think it’s normal for a guy who weighs 260 pounds to sprint 40 yards in four and a half seconds? It’s not conditioning; it’s PEDs, as former NFL player Dana Stubblefield told everyone in 2008.
That was all of a year ago. According to U.S. News and World Reports, however, the Stubblefield allegations haven’t exactly cleaned up the sport. Forget the drug testing that allegedly rooted out the problem; until very recently NFL players used a (now-banned diet) substance called bumetanide to mask steroid use. They’re on to new masks now as new reports assert that 16.3% of all offensive linemen and 14.3% of defensive linemen use some form of steroid. Overall PED use is estimated at 10% of all NFL players.
So where’s the outrage? Baseball was collectively crucified when the Mitchell report contained 124 names of past users, but a 10% PED use in the NFL means there are 170 present users suiting up each week. Also buried in the back pages is the fact that three college players projected to be first-round draft picks in the upcoming draft tested positive for drugs. And who can even name the two New Orleans players who were suspended for PEDs? (Charles Grant and Will Smith, for the record). And how about the two Vikings players—Pat Williams and Kevin Williams—whose drug suspensions were overturned when they sued to say that the very act of testing was illegal under Minnesota law? That hit the papers the day the World Series ended, a coincidence I’ll bet.
Want more hypocrisy? How about Raiders coach Tom Cable, a guy who broke the jaw of one of his assistants? Are we to admire his mano-a- mano machismo? Well, maybe you didn’t read the small print about how he also physically abused his first wife, and a subsequent girlfriend. That also hit the papers the morning after the Yankees and “A-Roid” won the Series.
Off the top of my head the only group I can think of that rivals sports fans for hypocrisy is horny fundamentalist preachers. The Internet is ablaze with self-proclaimed moralists renting their garments because of steroid use in the major league baseball. Most of that is in the past—and much of it came before some of the substances were banned—but that hasn’t prevented erstwhile protectors of the integrity of sports from shouting “A-Roid” at every possible moment, or suggesting that the records of “cheaters” be wiped from the record books.
Don’t get me started on the number of ways in which America’s war on drugs is a joke, but for sheer moxie I’m appalled at the number of Internet posters who righteously assert that they’re glad the baseball season is over because football is the true national pastime. I admit some bias on this—I can’t stand football and think it rivals only televised auto racing and golf on the just-shoot-me boredom scale. That said, if football is the national pastime now it’s a walking advertisement for a “Just Say Yes to Drugs” campaign. There’s way more use of performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs) in pro football than in major league baseball. Let’s get real. Do we really think it’s normal for a guy who weighs 260 pounds to sprint 40 yards in four and a half seconds? It’s not conditioning; it’s PEDs, as former NFL player Dana Stubblefield told everyone in 2008.
That was all of a year ago. According to U.S. News and World Reports, however, the Stubblefield allegations haven’t exactly cleaned up the sport. Forget the drug testing that allegedly rooted out the problem; until very recently NFL players used a (now-banned diet) substance called bumetanide to mask steroid use. They’re on to new masks now as new reports assert that 16.3% of all offensive linemen and 14.3% of defensive linemen use some form of steroid. Overall PED use is estimated at 10% of all NFL players.
So where’s the outrage? Baseball was collectively crucified when the Mitchell report contained 124 names of past users, but a 10% PED use in the NFL means there are 170 present users suiting up each week. Also buried in the back pages is the fact that three college players projected to be first-round draft picks in the upcoming draft tested positive for drugs. And who can even name the two New Orleans players who were suspended for PEDs? (Charles Grant and Will Smith, for the record). And how about the two Vikings players—Pat Williams and Kevin Williams—whose drug suspensions were overturned when they sued to say that the very act of testing was illegal under Minnesota law? That hit the papers the day the World Series ended, a coincidence I’ll bet.
Want more hypocrisy? How about Raiders coach Tom Cable, a guy who broke the jaw of one of his assistants? Are we to admire his mano-a- mano machismo? Well, maybe you didn’t read the small print about how he also physically abused his first wife, and a subsequent girlfriend. That also hit the papers the morning after the Yankees and “A-Roid” won the Series.
Football as the antidote to “cheaters” and boorish louts? Give me a break. It’s way worse than baseball—not that you’d hear that from the Internet crowd that wants to remove a splinter from the MLB but can’t see the beams giving the NFL a black eye.
Great shot of Lars there - looking fitter by the day. Must be all that Blueberry coffee.
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