In April baseball optimism knows no bounds, but you
shouldn’t make too much of early results. Raise your hand if you really think the Milwaukee Brewers are
going to the World Series! Here’s what we’ve learned thus far.
1. The replay sucks. It simply slows down the game and isn’t
any more “accurate” than the umps. Even worse, it makes the game as generic and
corporate as the NFL.
2. Speaking of the NFL, those who love “parity” ought to be
pleased–with the exception of train wrecks like the Astros, Cubs, and
Diamondbacks, every team in baseball is either at, over, or within 5 games of
.500. Count me among those who think parity is a synonym for mediocrity, not
competitiveness.
3. Whatever the minors are doing to bring on young pitchers,
it isn’t working. With the exception of Gonzalez, the most common name in
baseball is Tommy John (as in surgery). Go back to training pitchers to toss
300 innings. It can’t be worse.
4. Anyone else think it would be a good idea to start the
season later? Cleveland and 20 degrees anyone?
5. We’ll know better his second time through the league, but
the Yankees’ Mashiro Tanaka seems to be everything he was advertised to be.
6. The AL East looks very weak this year. I said that 90
wins could take it. I’m feeling good about that prediction at present.
7. Local Teams I: The Red Sox sure are missing Jacoby Ellsbury
so far. Bradley might be the answer, but he’s not so far. Ortiz’s bat has
looked slow, and it stays that way when the weather gets hot, uh-oh. Bogaerts
needs to be a third baseman or he’ll settle the debate over whether Jeter has
the worst range among MLB shortstops. Everyone wants Grady Sizemore to be a
feel-good story, but I fear he’s not going to be.
8. Local Teams II: Speaking of which, how much longer until
the Yankees give up on Brian Roberts? It says here that June 1, he’s
reassigned, Solarte goes to second, and Stephen Drew becomes a Yankee. Frankie
Cervelli is the Nick Johnson of catchers. Time to cut bait–J. R. Murphy will do
just fine. If I own this team, I tie Sabathia the dinner table until he’s fat
and powerful again. Too early to tell if Jeter is done, but there’s no drive in
his legs at present.
9. Local Teams III: I told Mets fans that Curtis Granderson
was a bad signing. The Grandy Man can't.
10. Thus far I’m spot on in saying the Rays won’t hit and
Toronto won’t pitch. The Orioles are good enough to stick around, but does this
look like a championship caliber team to you? June 1—Kendry Morales.
11. Jose Abreu sure has excited ChiSox fans. As with Tanaka,
we’ll know for sure about him when teams have seen him a few times, but he’s
been awesome so far.
12. Told you that Robbie Cano would like his Seattle
contract better than the ballpark. His slugging percentage is barely higher
than his average.
13. I hate the Marlins, but Jose Fernandez and Giancarlo
Stanton are worth seeing, which no one in Miami does. If Loria unloads them, or
young pitcher Tom Koehler, MLB should veto the deals and strip Loria of the
team. Think the Red Sox might want to have Saltamacchia back?
14. The Angels continue to be a team of a few thoroughbreds
(Trout, Pojuls, Wilson) and a barn full of plow horses. What the hell happened
to David Freese?
15. As predicted, the Giants have sprinted and the Dodgers
have chemistry problems. Again Mattingly is in the hot seat and his new
contract notwithstanding, I wouldn’t buy invest in local real estate were I he.
The Dodgers are not a disaster, but with a roster (and payroll) like theirs,
they should dominate, not hang around.
16. Who would have predicted Prince Fielder would suffer a
power outage, that the Pirates would struggle, that the Phillies would play old,
or that the Tigers would be better sans Leyland? I did, actually.
Don’t like what I’ve written about your team? Don’t worry;
it’s only May. Last time I looked Miggy Cabrera was only hitting. 280. That
won’t stand.
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