A LITTLE CHAOS (2014)
Directed by Alan
Rickman
BBC Films, 117
minutes, R (Brief nudity, suggestive banter, anachronisms, atrocious dancing)
*
More than a hundred films have been made on the grounds of
Versailles, but you can count on the fingers of a mitten the good ones. There
must be something about all that Baroque excess that challenges directors to
see if they can trump it. I'd personally rate Sofia Coppolla's Marie Antoinette (2006) as among the
worst movies ever made. A Little Chaos is
better than that, but that's no endorsement. It was directed and co-written by
one of my favorites British actors: Alan Rickman, who also cast himself as the
Sun King, King Louis XIV. Here's hoping he goes back to performing scripts
instead of writing them or trying to direct.
Rickman puckishly signals from the start that about the only
thing that's actually true in his story is that the symmetry of Versailles
Palace and gardens is broken by an unorthodox outdoor ballroom whose design
departs radically from the rest of the grounds. If only Rickman had the courage
to lampoon the foppery of the Sun King's court straight on instead of through
nudges and winks, A Little Chaos might
at least have camp value. Instead, like Coppolla, he tries to do it through
anachronisms. To that end, he imagines that royal gardener André Le Notre
(Matthias Schoenaerts) has put out the rock garden ballroom to a competitive
bid that he reluctantly awards to widowed garden designer/botanist/proto-feminist
Sabine De Barra (Kate Winslet). This pseudo-feminism is the first of numerous
contrivances crow-barred into the script. De Barra never existed: she's a
complete fabrication, as is Le Notre's open marriage, his unfaithful wife
(Helen McCrory), and his own dalliances. In truth, Le Notre was nearly 70 at
the time the ballroom was built, he designed it himself, and his wife was an
elderly sack of woe whose three children died in infancy.
Oh wow, man. Where can I score some acid? |
Rickman gets the excesses and sycophancy of Versailles
correct in spirit, though the externals are laughingly wrong. Historians agree
that the reign of King Louis XIV (1638-1715) was the apex of classical France,
but that Louis' wars and excessive spending–especially on Versailles–ultimately
set the table for the French Revolution. As anyone who has been to Versailles
can attest, the place oozes lavishness, exorbitance, and wastefulness. Courtly
life upon the grounds was even more over the top. (Part of its purpose was to
divert the attention of potentially meddlesome nobles.) In other words, there's
a plethora of source material, so it's even more mysterious why Rickman felt
the need to break the historical frame in such ludicrous fashion. Winslet is
part feminist, part bohemian, and part hippie. There's even a ridiculous scene
in which she's seen cavorting in a forest of ribbons, strings, and trippy objets
d'art that looks like it might hang in Shakedown Street outside a Grateful Dead
concert. Of course, Winslet also has to be a tortured soul–she's haunted by her
six-year-old daughter's death in a carriage accident–so she can have the
requisite on-the-verge-of-collapse scene and be comforted by Schoenaerts. The
less said about her near-drowning experience, the better. Yet it cannot be said
that her role is the most embarrassing in the film. That dishonor goes to Stanley
Tucci playing the bisexual Duke d' Orleans. His real-life counterpart probably was bisexual, but Tucci in a wig, fussy
shoes, silk stockings, and waistcoat looks just about as bad as you can imagine
he might. His expression is often one of bemusement, as if he's wondering what
the hell he's doing in this train wreck. I asked myself the same question. But
wait! It gets worse! If you can sit through the ballroom's inaugural limp-wristed,
kerchief-waving dance scene without reaching for an airsickness bag, you're
made of sterner stuff than I.
I could go on, but you get the point–this is simply an awful
movie. If movie technology had been available in the 1680s, an airing of this
film would have prompted bored Frenchmen to jump from their seats and launch
the revolution a hundred years earlier. A
Little Chaos is falsely advertised–it's a mess of gargantuan proportions.
Rob Weir