As promised in January, here is my list of the best films of
2017. with links to my reviews. Just in time for Oscar night on March 4. My list is better than Hollywood's.
1. Silence—the
film Marty Scorsese has been trying to make his whole life
2. Florida Project—what
it’s like to be poor in a sea of commercial vacuity
3. Shape of Water—magical
realism meets the Creature from the Black
Lagoon
4. Faces Places—more
humanity in a single sequence of this film than all of the UN
5. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri—not for the moral certainty crowd
6. A Ghost Story—weird,
provocative, and asks big questions
7. Loving Vincent—if
film could paint like Van Gogh
8. Maudie—Sally
Hawkins scores twice in ‘17
9. Certain Women—overlooked
because these women are real
10. A Quiet Passion—no
other film surprised me as much
Holy Shit! This is so meaningless. |
Before commenting on the Oscars, two obligatory rants:
First, my top
film, Silence, was technically a 2016
film, as were Certain Women and A Quiet Passion. That’s because
Hollywood dates a film from when it opened in either a sports bar in New York
or a poolside cabana in California, not when it opens in a place called the
United States.
Second, the Oscars do not
honor cinema’s best; they exist to perpetuate the myth that Hollywood is the
center of filmmaking. It’s really only a center of check-totin’ coke snortin’
capitalist cowboys who think they are important, but let’s please not confuse
that with quality.
I shall comment only on the so-called “Big” awards because
most people have never seen (and never will) the nominated live action shorts
or documentaries. I’ve yet to see any of the films in the Best Foreign Language
category. See Rant # 1 above. I will say that I hope Faces Places wins for
Best Documentary Feature because it should be in the Best Picture category. And why the hell isn't Dolores nominated?
Best Picture:
Should Win: The Shape of Water. It’s by far the most innovative thing
on the list.
Shouldn’t Be Here: Everything else on the list except
Three Billboards and Phantom Thread. The rest is either way
overhyped (Darkest Hour, Lady Bird)
or just dead ordinary.
Stiffed: Florida Project. Guess it doesn’t fit into the Hollywood Dream
Machine.
Best Actor:
Should Win: This is the weakest crop I’ve ever seen,
but I’ll go with Daniel Day-Lewis as
he’s by far the greatest actor on the list.
Shouldn’t Be Here: Pretty much everyone else on the
list, but let me say that I simply don’t understand why Gary Oldman has drawn raves for playing Winston Churchill. He was
outdone on TV by John Lithgow.
Stiffed: Damned if I understand why people who occupy
more screen time than those with top billing are called Supporting Actors. I’d
give a shout to Christopher Plummer
who in a single month rescued All the Money in the World when Kevin Spacey was excised from the movie.
Best Actress:
Should Win: Frances
McDormand. Simply astonishing—just what we’d expect from an actress with
chops instead of glamour.
Shouldn’t Be Here: Margot Robbie for a joke of a movie. Meryl Streep, who only got
a nod to pad her most-nominated record. I love Saoirse Ronan and she will win
an Oscar someday, but it should be for a role meatier than the one for which
she’s nominated this year.
Stiffed: Cynthia
Nixon for bringing humanity to Emily Dickinson. Who knew Nixon was this
good? Or are you going to try to pull the 2016 film dodge on me? Okay, you want
2017, how about fiesty Brooklynn Prince
for The Florida Project or the
radiant Gal Gadot for Wonder Woman?
Supporting Actor:
Should Win: This is the strongest category by a mile.
I think Willem Dafoe will win to make up for stiffing Florida Project, but either Sam
Rockwell or Woody Harrelson is
worthy and, as I said, Christopher
Plummer should have been in the Best Actor category.
Shouldn’t Be Here: Richard Jenkins is a terrific
actor, but his role in Shape of Water
isn't special.
Stiffed: Gil Birmingham in Wind River. If Hollywood wants more diversity, how about
celebrating this fine performance from a Native American?
Supporting Actress:
Should Win: Terrible film, but Allison Janney was the only thing that kept me from bolting I, Tonya.
Shouldn’t Be Here: Octavia Spencer is a terrific
actress, but her role in Shape of Water
was your basic sidekick shtick. Mary J. Blige isn’t an actress, so not her
either.
Stiffed: Yeah, yeah, Certain Women is a 2016 film. It wasn’t actually, but that’s what
they say. Lily Gladstone gave a
heartbreaking performance that quietly cut to the essence of what loneliness
really means.
Best Director:
Should Win: Guillermo
del Toro for Shape of Water.
Shouldn’t Be Here: The only other name that belongs
at all is Paul Thomas Anderson. Sorry but Greta Gerwig gets no love for
directing a coming of age film for her debut. Few liked Dunkirk and Jonathan Peele got a nomination for a movie few have
seen so Hollywood can say it nominated a black director.
Stiffed: Sean Baker for The Florida Project.Taylor Sheridan for Wind River.
The Rest:
The Cinematography nominations
are mostly for big-budget and f/x laden films. Meh! The best job I saw was from
Ben Richardson in Wind River. Predictably, he wasn’t nominated.
If you want to nominate someone for remarkable technological work, how about Tristan Oliver for Loving Vincent? Ooops—he wasn’t nominated either.
Oscar’s most consistent category is for Original Song. Every year they manage to pick five songs that make
viewers wish there was an app that allows you to fast forward real time. I’m
sort of grateful that the songs are so uniformly awful—for one night I’m okay
with being hearing impaired.
Shall we pretend that we care about adapted screenplay,
original screenplay, sound mixing and editing, film editing, and production
design. Let’s just call the whole thing off. Makeup and hair and costume design
exist to remind us that Hollywood’s beautiful people can be made either more so
or less so, so let’s give these a miss too. Original score goes to Hans Zimmer or John Williams. Whose turn is it this year? The Visual Effects category
exists to give awards to big budget summer blockbusters that people flock to
see, but which Hollywood would be embarrassed to put in other categories. The
masses who saw these films will not be watching the Oscars.