Tea Party: Trolls, Not Hobbits

Trolls with funny hats!

Remember the Billy Joel song “We Didn’t Start the Fire?” To refresh memories, it was a litany of the world’s woes and wrongs, but also a reminder that the fires were “already burning.” Joel went on to say, “No, we didn’t light it/But we tried to fight it.”

Why the trip down Memory Lane? Because some times we do know whom the arsonists are. I nearly keeled over laughing at the news that Tea Party activists were upset with--of all people--John McCain! Even Old Brimstone himself has his limits, and he called out the Tea Party for being irresponsible. (Imagine!). More to the point, he called them “hobbits,” presumably implying that they were people of small (public) stature with small minds and small ideals to match. Tea Party activists were angered, shocked, and hurt by McCain’s comments.

Which cliché best applies here? How about: If you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen. When was that last time the Tea Party said a single positive thing about America, its leaders, or anyone to the left of Adolph Eichmann? Aren’t these the people who put a “target” on Representative Giffords’ office? Wasn’t it Representative Lamar Smith of Texas who said that liberals are more dangerous than terrorists? Gee, I thought maybe it might be a tad more dangerous to follow the advice of Representative Michael Burgess (Texas again), who said that he wanted to “tie up” the government by bringing impeachment proceedings against President Obama.

Or how about this one: People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. The Tea Party is upset because McCain called them hobbits! Good grief!!! These are people who wear t-shirts with Obama’s features exaggerated and captions saying “Beware of dog.” They also routinely call him a “monkey” and rallies are replete with signs using the “N” word. (Small-minded? A lot of photos show they can’t even spell; “niggar” is a favored sign.)

You bet the anti-Tea Party rhetoric is harsh, which brings me back to Billy Joel. We didn’t start the fire--the Tea Party did. Its behavior is that of the classic bully: throw your weight around until someone bigger (and smarter) shows up to put you in your place. Then cry and claim you’re being picked on. I’m in a no-compromise mood. I see absolutely no reason to respect these clowns or give a damn about their poor little hurt feelings.

I’m sorry that McCain called them “hobbits,” because hobbits are noble and lovable. Tea Partiers are not hobbits; they’re vicious little trolls. They are also anti-American, anti-freedom, and post-sanity. They started the fire; I hope it consumes them and leaves only ash.