Tea Bag Wimps and Simps

OMG! Captain America is my new hero!

In case you missed it, Tea Bag Nation is in an uproar again. In a recent Captain America comic book, the namesake hero and a black sidekick tackle a white supremacy group called the “Watchdogs.” One of the panels shows a group of angry white folks who are obviously patterned after the tea baggers. They hold aloft signs such as “Tea Bag the Libs,” “Stop the Socialists,” “No Govt in My Medicare,” and “No New Taxes.” Tea Bag Nation was very offended by this panel and complained that the Marvel Comics strip was “mean spirited.” All together now, “Ahhh. Was the big bad comic book mean to the poor widdle tea baggers?” Kleenex anyone?

Tea baggers deserve every insult hurled their way; after all, they’ve been slinging mud by the truckload. To use a politically incorrect jibe from the Jim Crow era, they’ve called Obama “everything but a white man.” (The inability to call him that is, after all, the root of their real complaint about the man.) Tea Bag Nation is a collection of classic bullies who dish it out but can’t take it. Rush Limbaugh delighted in resurrecting the (long dead) hippie movement when he wanted to pontificate about drugs—until he was exposed as an Oxycontin fiend and wanted our sympathy. Sarah Palin railed against the president’s use of teleprompter, until it was revealed that she’s an old-style cheater with crib notes written on her hand. (Note to Sarah: In case you’ve been legally dead for the past fifty years, every president from Eisenhower on has used a teleprompter!) Representative Spencer (is-my-middle-name-McCarthy?) Bachus (R, AL) charged that there were seventeen socialists in the Senate, but couldn’t come up with the list when Sen. Bernard Sanders of Vermont, who is a socialist asked for it. And isn’t it awfully funny to listen to tea baggers complain about stifling their right of dissent when henchman Dick Armey tried to shut down town hall discussions on health care?

As my mother used to say, if you can’t take the heat, get out the kitchen. Like so many bullies, tea baggers puff themselves up when they’re surrounded by their posses, but they cry like children fallen from tricycles when those they’re bullying have the temerity to hit back. It’s time for more people to say “mean spirited” things about the tea baggers. Good on Captain America and a big boo to Marvel Editor Joe Quesada for apologizing to them. In typical fashion, Tea Bag Nation founder Judson Phillips whined that the apology did not seem sincere. So, Joe, take it back! Let’s call the tea baggers what they are: wimps and simps. And here's my personal Valentine to Tea Bag Nation: "Thwwwppt!"