Clever, but MLB does have issues!
I made a $129 mistake this spring: I bought a subscription to MLB.com and I’ve already made a note to cancel it the day the World Series ends.
Much has been written about the slow pace of baseball, but that’s not why it has become boring. All sports have become crushingly dull and television is a major culprit. Even so, baseball is in need of a major overhaul, though probably not in the direction the commissioner’s office is headed.
Baseball been under the microscope more than any other sport and has dragged out all manner of gimmicks that reek of desperation, The first thing to do is dump all of the ridiculous crap currently being tried: beginning an extra-inning game with a runner on second, 7-inning doubleheaders, undressing pitchers in search of grip substances, etc. While we’re at it, dump Interleague play, an experiment whose day has passed, and serves only to cheapen the World Series.
Here are some other ideas:
· Starting pitchers must complete at least 5 innings, even if they are getting shellacked. Cruel? No more so than some reserve outfielder being drafted as a reliever.
· All relievers must throw to at least 3 batters. End the era of roster-clogging “specialists” who can only throw to one type of hitter. This would also speed the game along so we don’t have to endure the constant cycle of pitching changes and TV commercials.
· Speaking of commercials, limit them to 2 minutes between innings. This alone would subtract at least 9 minutes from the game. Limit the break to 1 minute if a reliever comes in during an inning. In total, the average game would be over roughly 15 minutes faster.
· Use technology to call balls and strikes, but mandate that umpire decisions on the field are final unless a rule infraction is at issue. No video reviews. This would save another 10 minutes.
· Baseball also needs some new statistics to replace meaningless nerds-only gibberish. I suggest these: MHR (Meaningless Home Runs that come when the outcome isn’t in doubt); WCSP (Who Cares Slugging Percentage demerits for hitters who don’t produce in key situations); LRE (Little League Error for times in which a fielder doesn’t actually touch a ball that any Little Leaguer would have gotten to); YDDYJ (You Didn’t Do Your Job demerits each time hitters, fielders, and pitchers flub basic things); TS (Throw Strikes demerits to pitchers who manage to run 0-2 counts to 3-2; 5 demerits if they walk the hitter and 10 if they toss a 3-2 gopher ball).; BYG (Burn Your Glove demerits for catchers who call lousy games, don’t throw our runners, and are prone to passed balls. It’s also known as the Gary Sanchez Factor).
Now for a few things that would make the game more exciting to watch.
· Baseball needs better coaching at every level. MLB has made home runs boring, as its biggest hitting “stars” strike out 25% of the time by swinging for the fences.
· Hire coaches who teach situational hitting. This isn’t new. I learned on the playground that you choke up on the bat and cut down on your swing once there are two strikes on you. There’s a world of difference between “hitters” and “swingers.”
· Teach bunting and I mean proper drag bunts. It’s pathetic to see some guy making millions stick his bat out in front of him like a statue before the pitcher even begins his wind up.
· Teach other basic fundamentals. Like how to set your feet on a ground ball, how to execute a hit-and-run play, and how to beat a defensive shift.
· Baseball needs more speedy guys who can get on via an infield single. It would also be nice to see more base stealing, and runners with the speed to make it from first to third on a single to right.
·
If MLB abolishes sticky substances for pitchers,
abolish pine tar for hitters. Allow pitchers to throw inside and call a strike is a hit batter has leaned into the strike zone.
· Allow starting pitchers from the previous game to be replaced by one- or two-day call-ups from the minors.
· Make the designated hitter rule applicable in both leagues. Most pitchers simply can’t hit and it’s boring to watch them try.
· Owners should insist on contracts that are incentive-laden and provide for salary cuts for under-performance. Managers used to fine players who didn’t advance runners or plate a runner on third with less than two outs. Players should have to earn their salaries–just like the rest of us!
Now for the radical stuff.
First, institute a hard salary standard for all MLB teams. No more super-spenders or pocket-the-revenue owners.
· Every team in MLB would have a set level for total salaries—say $150 million per roster Not a dime more and not a nickel less.
· Cut ticket prices for fans by 20%.
My most radical proposal involves expansion and reemphasizing team success rather than single players. Hear me out. It’s modeled on European soccer leagues.
· Create two MLB divisions in each league of 6 teams each and call it MLB-A. That would be 24 teams, not the current 30. The top two finishers in each division go to respective league playoffs seeded by their overall records (1 vs. 4; 2 vs. 3 vs. winners) and the survivors vie to play the winner of the other league’s playoffs in the World Series.
· Take the 8 teams with the worst regular season winning percentages and drop them to an MLB-B division with a hard salary standard of $100 million. Players on teams dropped to the B-division incur an across-the-board salary cut of 1/3 and must play a full season of MLB-B even if they would otherwise be free agents.
· Potential expansion cities include: Montreal, Calgary, Vancouver, Buffalo, Indianapolis, Louisville, Nashville, Las Vegas, New Orleans, San Antonio, Portland, and Salt Lake City. Teams whose finances don’t work–goodbye Tampa!– can be replaced by other cities and owners.
· Each year, drop the bottom 8 from MLB-A to MLB-B and elevate the top 8 MLB-B squads to MLB-A with players receiving an immediate 33% bonus.
· Reduce the regular season from 162 games to 154, with the season beginning no earlier than April 15.
Rob Weir
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