5/30/22

A Curse on Both Political Parties!

 

Why It’s Time to Change the Political Tune (in one chart)

 



 

Call me cynical; then explain why millions of people purport to despise both political parties, yet go the polls and select one or the other in the belief they’ve voted for the lesser of two evils. To me, that’s cynical. It’s voting against something, not for something. Is Monster versus Milquetoast really a choice?

 

There is just one solution and it will take time: Stop voting for Republicans or Democrats. Choose another option. If you’re on the left, vote Green or some other progressive party; if you’re conservative, vote Libertarian, just as long as you know that Ted Cruz and Rand Paul are liars, not Libertarians. (A true libertarian would not vote to restrict abortion access.)

 

I quit the Democratic Party during the Clinton administration and the only Republicans I’ve ever voted for were named Silvio Conte and Charlie Baker, the latter because who can even remember who ran against him? That tells you all you need to know about the Democratic wannabes.

 

This handy chart outlines why I’ve lost trust in both the Monsters (Republicans) and the Milquetoasts (Democrats).  Republican Monsters in column two; Democratic Milquetoasts in column 3.

 


School Shootings

Arm teachers, janitors, secretaries, and students.

Talk, talk talk.

Gun control of any sort

Repeal the 5th Commandment. Replace with the Second Amendment.

Talk, talk, talk.

Abortion

Why should we care about women and choices?

Talk, talk, talk.

High gasoline prices

Drill, baby, drill!

Talk, talk, talk.

Climate change

What climate change? Drill, baby, drill!

Talk, talk, talk.

Coronavirus

Fake news. Masks are evil. Sick? Drink bleach.

Talk, talk, talk.

Methamphetamine production

It’s a form of free enterprise.

Talk, talk, talk.

Inflation

Slash taxes on the rich and big corporations.

Talk, talk, talk.

Problems of blue-collar and service industry workers

Vote for us because we will stop those socialist job killers.

Talk, talk, talk. Wait a minute, who?

The destruction of American democracy

Trump won the election. Investigate that.

Talk, talk, talk.

Health care reform

Socialism!

Talk, talk, talk.

Education and student debt

College education is elitist (unless you can afford an Ivy). Ban CRT.

Talk, talk, talk.

Crime

Empower the cops and arm babies at birth.

Talk, talk, talk, though I’m sure this issue is racist.

Racism

Bring back slavery.

Oh, how terrible!

Cops killing people of color (even on camera)

They had it coming to them.

Oh, you really shouldn’t say that. How mean.

Immigration

Seal the borders, round up illegals, and ship ‘em back.

Talk, talk, talk, but maybe open the borders. You know, if it’s not too much trouble.

LGBTQ rights

Sinners! Ban them. Except for Log Cabin Republicans.

Talk, talk, talk.

Trade

Who cares as long as the Stock Market goes up?

Gee, we really ought to do something about China. If it’s not upsetting.

Runaway military spending

Huh? Triple the budget. Cut those wasteful social programs.

Oh golly, we really respect our vets, although we’re sorry we voted for that last dumb war.

Deficit

It’s the Democrats fault.

It’s the Republicans fault.

Choosing candidates and judges

Choose whoever is barely legal. Unless it’s Trump.

There must be 80-year-olds whose turn it is. I wonder if the Clintons would speak at a fundraiser?

Women in general

Yeah, we love babes. Especially blondes with shapely legs who want to have sex with Trump.

That is so rude I’m almost tempted to say something about it.

 

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