Iron Sky: Terrible Movie, but Great Camp!

 

 

 

 

IRON SKY (2012/2019)

Directed by Timo Vourensola

Walt Disney Studio Motion Pictures, 111 minutes, R (language, violence?)

★★ (but four stars for camp)

 

There’s no quiz to follow, but see if you can follow this. The 2019 movie Iron Sky is based on a 2012 movie in Finnish directed by Timo Vourensola. It never made it to the United States, but it was made into a video game and sequel that got a lot of play (as it were). They, in turn, spawned a crowdfunding campaign to get the movie into theaters overseas. Iron Sky hit North America in 2019 and promptly bombed!

 

Iron Sky was marketed as a sci-fi action comedy. It might have been better to call it comedy and camp. As a movie, Iron Sky makes schlock master Ed Wood’s 1957 Plan 9 from Outer Space look like 2001: A Space Odyssey. It involves space Nazis who fled to the dark side of the moon after their defeat in 1945. There’s no explanation of how they built their space compound, but it’s best not to waste time trying to figure it out. For our purposes we can assume that Doktor Richter (Tilo Prückner), an Albert Einstein parody, had something to do with it. Current Führer Wolfgang Kortzfleisch (Udo Kier) has been watching Earth during the brief moment in which the dark side of the moon is lighted. He knows that two Americans are on their way to investigate their area and sends several troopers to intercept them. When a white astronaut resists, he is killed, though they are uncertain what to do with the jive-talking, decidedly non-Aryan James Washington (Christopher Kirby).

 

Meanwhile, back at die ranch, we meet Klaus Adler (Götz Otto), a dunderheaded Nazi fanatic who dreams of becoming Führer, of marrying Richter’s daughter Renate (Julie Dietze), and of home-growing a herd of little Nazis. Renate makes all the right noises, but she knows a 5-watt bulb when she sees one. She also develops the hots for Washington and is fascinated by his black skin. Adler would happily dispatch Washington, but first he needs to learn about Washington’s iPhone, which might have the computing power that will make the giant Nazi Götterdämmerung (twilight of the gods) attack ship into an invincible weapon. Washington gets another break when its battery dies, but there’s always his iPad to consider. Instead, Adler uses drugs to albinize Washington. Like most of the Nazi “advances,” it makes Washington only marginally Aryan, more grey than white. Adler eventually assassinates Kortzfleisch to become Führer and orders preparations for an invasion of Earth.

 

If you have any doubts left whether Iron Sky was intended to be a parody, we find out that U.S. president Stephane Powell–a dead ringer for Sarah Palin–concocted the entire moon landing as part of marketing scheme to get her reelected so she can continue to use workout machines on taxpayer dollars. She is roughly as stupid and arrogant as Adler, and her Secretary of Defense is dumber still. Plus, it’s all about harvesting helium-3 from the moon. When the UN has the audacity to complain–the Russian delegate throws his shoes–a takedown of Nikita Khruschev’s famed shoe-banging meltdown at the U.N. in 1960–the U.S. claims everything belongs to them. (There is a funny putdown of North Korean threats involved in all of this nonsense.)  

 

What ensues is something short of The War of the Worlds that looks like a steampunk invasion by a Nazi fleet of zeppelins, Richter’s flying saucer, and a rush to engage or sabotage the Götterdämmerung. Alt.history further abounds in that the U.S. arsenal is headed by the starship U.S.S. George W. Bush. Figures change sides, but Renate sees beyond his albinizing and retains her hots for James Washington.

 

Who wins? Well, that’s not the point. Director Vourensola lifted ideas from war movies, 1950s Japanese sci-fi, Buck Rogers, Star Trek, and anything else that wasn’t welded in place. The entire story is ridiculous. Even the Götterdämmerung looks like something Terry Gilliam cooked up for Brazil (1985). In sum, Iron Sky is a terrible movie, but it’s bad enough to be classic B-movie camp. You could do worse than to invite your silliest friends over for beer, junk food, and hoots. Pair it with Space 9 and you will need to detox for at least a month before tackling any sort of serious film.

 

Rob Weir