12/23/24

Is Monkey Business (1952) the Worst Movie Ever?

 


 

 

Monkey Business (1952)

Directed by Howard Hawks

20th Century Fox, 97 minutes.

😵

 

When I was writing The Marx Brothers and America, I Googled their 1931 Paramount film Monkey Business. I often got redirected to a 1952 movie of the same title that  starred Cary Grant, Ginger Rogers, and Marilyn Monroe. (Most titles are not copyrighted and can be reused even if they are completely different movies.)

 

I stumbled across the 1952 Monkey Business at the library and impulsively pulled the DVD from the shelf. The verdict? It might be the worst movie ever made! I can hear you scoff. There are scores of dreadful movies so how can I assert that this is the worst of all time? I shan’t quibble; perhaps it’s only the third or fourth worst. At the very least it affirms the old actors’ dictum: “Never make a movie in which you appear with a monkey.” Marilyn Monroe should have listened because the chimp in question was a way better actor.  

 

Dr. Barnaby Fulton (Grant) is an absent-minded employee for Oxly Chemicals. He dreams of developing something that will secure him a cushy professorial job. (Okay, that’s funny! ) He is so fixated on a formula that he can’t execute the simple tasks of taking his key from his pocket, turning off the hall light, and turning on the porch light so he and his wife Edwina (Rogers) can go to a dance. She’s fine with that and strips to her undergarments (which were considerable in the 1950s!), grabs an apron, and begins to make eggs for Barnaby. Their lawyer friend Hank (Hugh Marlowe) stops by to ask why they’re not going out and Barnaby flits about trying to cover Edwina’s bare back, garter-belt, and stockings. Are you rolling in laughter yet?

 

As it transpires, Barnaby is working on a reverse aging formula. Gee, I wonder why nobody else ever thought of making a fountain of youth parody. But before we get to that, we meet Oliver Oxly (Charles Coburn) and his new secretary Lois Laurel (Monroe), who can’t type or think. She can, however, pull up her dress to show Barnaby how the acetate nylons he designed don’t tear. It’s nice to see practical science in action in movies, isn’t it? Barnaby is called into his lab because Rudolph, one of his oldest chimps got out and is bouncing around like an infant. But is it Rudolph or did the lab assistant/janitor put the wrong jersey on six-month-old Esther? Stop! The suspense is killing me. Rudolph/Esther gets out of the cage again, mixes chemicals, and dumps them in the water cooler. When Barnaby returns, he tries his own vile formula, takes a drink of water, casts off his glasses, and does a somersault. He feels like he’s 20. Are we having fun yet?

 

Respected Hollywood writer Ben Hecht worked on the script, but it’s pretty easy to know where this is going. All manner of “hysterical” things occur: Barnaby buys a sports car and goes on a reckless joy ride with Lois. Who knew that new sports cars came with bathing suits in the trunk? We see Grant do a high dive into a local swimming pool while Lois stands on the side being ogled by local youth. Barnaby will even get a Mohawk from some kids playing “Indians” and a lipstick-staining kiss from Lois. Tee hee.

 

Pretty soon everyone gets in on the act–note I did not say acting–when Edwina makes coffee from the lab water. She too cavorts about like she’s decades younger, thereby rekindling Barnaby’s flame. Luckily that means that Monroe is reduced to a minor character again. The effects, of course, are temporary and the formula non-reproducible, but we get the final indignity of a switcheroo that makes Edwina think that a sleeping baby is an overdosed Barnaby. Guffaw!

 

Yes, I know I’ve loaded this review with spoilers. Although you can watch it for free on YouTube I’m saving you from temptation. The really funny thing about Monkey Business is how a talented director such as Howard Hawks, who gave us gems such as Scarface, His Girl Friday, and The Big Sleep, got suckered into this Jerry Lewis-like dud. Moreover, he directed Grant and Kate Hepburn in Bringing up Baby (1938), one of the funniest screwball comedies ever made. Grant was a nerd in that one as well, so I can only conclude that leopards are funnier than chimps and Hepburn a better actress than Monroe.

 

Rob Weir

 

 

 

No comments: